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Patti Wigington

Yule Countdown: Surviving Christmas with the Family

By December 19, 2013

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Get ready for Yule!
Your family dinner is not the
time to discuss theology.
Image © Getty Images
Okay, so you're a Pagan, and you observe the Solstice or Yule, but on December 25 you have to go spend a day with your family, and they all celebrate Christmas. How do you make things less stressful?

Well, for starters, realize that no matter what you may think of Christianity or its holidays, Christmas dinner is NOT the time to get into a theological debate. Despite the fact that Uncle Ernie thinks you're going to burn in hell and that your spiritual path makes the Baby Jesus cry, take the high road and refuse to argue. Holidays can be stressful for all of us, but they can be even harder for people whose family disapproves of their spiritual choices. Here are a few tips for how to survive the Christmas season with disapproving non-Pagan relatives. Getting Through the Winter Holidays. If you've got tips on how to deal with relatives who may be less than understanding, share them in the Comment section -- we'd love to hear your ideas!

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Comments
December 12, 2007 at 11:34 am
(1) Glenn says:

Make a joke, or two :)

Uncle Ernie: “You are going to burn in hell”

You: “Well, on the bright side, it’ll be warmer there than here!”
___________

Uncle Ernie: “You make baby Jesus cry”

You: “He’s probably got nappy rash – or it’s your ugly top” (Because all uncles wear that old nitted marron top!).

December 14, 2007 at 8:56 pm
(2) Liz Duff says:

Simply tell “Uncle” that you can’t burn in a place that doesn’t exist and nobody can make a dead guy cry.

December 21, 2007 at 8:42 am
(3) Mgodss says:

“Thank you
I will take that into consideration.”

or

“This is not the time for this discussion. Lets make a time when we can sit together over coffee to discuss how our beliefs are similar and different.”

TT
M

December 21, 2007 at 10:02 am
(4) Kim says:

Be sure and talk about positive things that are pleasant for everyone – that it is nice to be together, and be sure to thank them for the nice meal, etc. There are so many things to talk about – the food, the gifts, the “Christmas” tree, etc., and ask about how everyone is doing. So many things about this time of year are not only for Christians, and to be polite, it can just be a secret that you are looking at it as the Solstice instead of Christmas. It is fine to sneak in a new tradition of storytelling, games, etc. if you haven’t done it before. My family often puts a puzzle together, one of those 1,000 piece ones, that can sit on a table for a few days. Everyone complains about it, but they all wind up over there, especially when someone else they want to talk to is over there doing the puzzle. In short, have lots of things to do that aren’t one religious tradition, just general family activities.

December 29, 2007 at 8:15 pm
(5) Black Kat says:

Remember the holiday season is a great time to get together with family & friends & celebrate DIVERSITY. I am Wiccan & have not had a tree in the house before (always the Yule log) This year however, my grand daughter is 3 yrs old & we felt it was time to combine holiday traditions. I finally bought a tree & decorated it with the BEAUTIFUL golden sun ornaments & gold ribbons trailing down from the biggest sun on the very top! My SOLSTICE tree was gorgeous & everyone raved about it!
I am already looking forward to adding more to it next year!
Hail Ra! Ruler of the Sun!

Happy Holidays!

December 10, 2010 at 7:46 am
(6) Chrissy says:

As a Pagan you celebrate the Birth of the Sun God and Christians Celebrate the Birth of the Son OF God. It’s a one word difference. If it helps you can look at Jesus as the Personification of the Sun God. Julius Ceasar declared Yule to be on December 25th. Where do you think Christians got that date? They didnt just pull it out of their who ha. They took the date of Yule from the Julian Calendar and called it Christmas then personified the Sun God and gave him a bunch of qualities that other gods have possessed. If you need an easier way to think of it your relatives are celebrating an ancient Yule. In my family we invite all of our friends and family over on the Solstice. We cook up a lot of food and celebrate. Then on the 25th they all come over again bearing gifts. We cook more food and celebrate with them. We see it as Present day. Santa still comes on the 25th because we don’t want our kids to tell their friends Santa comes a different day for them. Everyone is allowed to practice their own religion. If family antagonizes you remind them that you are American and freedom of religion is your right. That’s all you need. Or you can tell Uncle Al or whomever that he may be right and you are willing to take that chance. There is no reason to argue on the holidays. It makes a stressful time worse.

December 2, 2011 at 9:28 am
(7) Jeff Kincaid says:

@Glenn – Hey! I am an Uncle, and I never wear that kinda thing..usually Hawaiian print shirts, even in the dead of winter. LOL

@Chrissy – Your comment is a good one and reminds me of an original series Star Trek episode called Bread and Circuses, when Kirk, Spock and McCoy beam down to a planet when Rome never fell. Slaves, Gladiators, etc. At the end of the story, Kirk and co are feeling a bit superior and are amazed at the slaves’ all believing in a Sun god. They felt it was strange that such an otherwise technically advanced people would worship the sun. Uhura turns around and send “Oh no, you have it all wrong. I have been monitoring their broadcasts and they are not talking about the sun up in the sky, they are talking about the Son of God.”

We have to resist the urge to act superior to the Christians and their beliefs, just like we want them to do for us.

Peace and Light
Jeff

December 2, 2011 at 10:31 am
(8) Becky says:

Just tell Uncle Ernie that he’ll be in hell too for judging you. As for “baby” Jesus: Didn’t he grow up? Die? Become a zombie…..

December 2, 2011 at 1:45 pm
(9) Kat says:

Lets see, in my family we have jews, catholics,an antheist, a lutheran and a druid. We all celebrate the holidays a little differently.
BUT we all go to Granma’s house for christmas dinner and to open presents!! And Granma decks the halls and the yard and the bedrooms and even the bathrooms.
We have had some rollicking discussions on what the season means to us as individuals and as a family. But what comes thru is the love and caring for everyone else.
You see we are not nasty and do not try to place the restrictions of our religions on anyone else.
Tell Uncle Ernie, that it is nice his religion is so much a part of his holiday, but you do not want to spoil it with thinking about his Jesus crying. Ask him questions about how christmas was when he was a child or about his religion. Ask him to pray for you–smile–that usually shuts them up. The older the family member is who has something to say–the more set in their ways they are. You can also say nothing–smile!
As a last resort–smile–tell Uncle Ernie you will pray for him!!
Remember do all the above with love and caring.
And remember these holidays when your children or grandchildren say they worship a spaceman or some far distant planet in the future.

December 6, 2011 at 8:28 am
(10) maina says:

funny… but sadly true aswell… a blessed and happy solstice to all of you :-)

December 6, 2011 at 9:17 am
(11) Tammy says:

I am glad for any belief that brings people peace and happiness. As long as there is no judging going on (tall order I know) I can be happy that they have something to believe in that comforts them and gives them a reason to celebrate life. I drove by a home last night with a sign out front that said, “Happy Birthday Jesus”. If their children believe they are celebrating the birth of someone else, isnt that the giving spirit we want to perpetuate, regardless of the root belief it comes from? I think all belief systems could co-exist if they werent trying to out-prove each other’s existence and relativity. I celebrate what I want, you celebrate what you want…and we can all sit together.

December 6, 2011 at 10:05 am
(12) Jennifer says:

Everyone is entitled to their own beliefs, so just enjoy your time together. Do not dicuss religion or politics. It is very personal. Say that subect is off limits, period. Spend time with the family learning about family stories, history, ask what was their favorite Christmas when growing up, etc.
Do not be afraid to say this converstion is
1.not fun, change the subject
2.unnecessary
3.over

December 6, 2011 at 1:40 pm
(13) janice says:

I have some Jewish friends who say they just smile, eat chinese food and go to the movies for the chrismas holidays

December 6, 2011 at 6:29 pm
(14) Robert says:

:) , As the(pagan) patriarch of my small (mostly) Xtian family I find it is quite simple. I give Yule gifts at the winter solstice but participate in the family gathering on xmas.. I generally don’t say anything unless asked.. I feel comfortable with this, I think my youngest daughter (31) is not so much so, but we all get along.. Ya’ll have a great holiday season, and don’t sweat the small stuff..

December 6, 2011 at 7:40 pm
(15) Pamela says:

So, how do you get your pagan sister-in-law, who is very militant, hostile, and vocal about her feelings about Christians and Christianity as a whole, to respect your beliefs as she wants you to respect hers? Which, by the way, you do.

over the years she has made numerous rude and almost hateful remarks about Christianity. The thing is, we (myself and my family) have never made any derogatory or judgmental remarks about her religion or spiritual beliefs. We are Christians, but not “overly religious,” and honestly have no problem with what she believes. We do pray before meals at the family holiday gatherings. one person will say a brief prayer of thanksgiving or asking for blessings on the meal and the family, while the rest listen. I silently timed the recent Thanksgiving prayer (not paying attention as I should have been, lol) and it was about 30 seconds.

And that’s it. The rest of the time is just about enjoying time with family, opening gifts, eating, relaxing, etc. But, last year, just before the holidays, she sent an email and said “We don’t celebrate your christian holidays. We like to be around y’all, it’s just when we come over to your homes for your version of thanksgiving (we don’t celebrate it, we celebrate Mabon, the original thanksgiving on Autumn Equinox) or your version of christ mass… (we celebrate Yule on Winter Solstice, not your holiday that was MOVED to our Yule to incorporate the pagans from ancient history) we feel very out of place, like outsiders and don’t really feel included. We have to sit thru your christian prayers to your god and we know y’all know we are not christian. So we feel that it’s not inclusive to your non christian family members.

We feel like we have to endure your christian prayers out of politeness. But honestly, we feel alienated, excluded, and VERY uncomfortable. Therefore, we are no longer attending your twisted versions of our pagan holy days.”

December 6, 2011 at 7:42 pm
(16) Pamela says:

She also said she feels if we were more inclusive and tolerant we would not say our prayers when they are there, to make them more comfortable.

Then, this year, about a week before Thanksgiving my mother (despite SILs earlier email) decided to reach out again and emailed her, “Yes, I know it’s short notice and we hadn’t mentioned it earlier because of your letter a year ago that said you guys wouldn’t be attending any more of “our versions of your holy days”. We figured you guys wouldn’t come because of that, but I decided to mention it anyway and call it Turkey Day in case you changed your mind. We’ll miss seeing all of you, maybe next time. Love, Mom”

SIL replied, “Ah yes, but turkey day really is not a religious thing anyway I’m guessing, unless loads of xtian prayers are said over that specific feast …which of course we don’t really want to be subjected to anyway. It was our Mabon originally on Fall Equinox (2nd Harvest) until president Lincoln changed that to it’s present day of “thanksgiving”. Christianized versions of our holy days consist of Yule (christ mass), Ostara (easter) and many others. Y’all might have “figured” wrong that we wouldn’t attend, but the late notice decided that for all of us since the assumption was made in advance. Since we had not heard anything from anyone, we decided to have a vegan feast here at our house with some invited guests… so….”

December 6, 2011 at 7:44 pm
(17) Pamela says:

As I said before, we say one short prayer, not “loads” of prayers. And, every email she’s sent over the last 10+ years, she has to lecture us (that’s how it comes across anyway) on the origins of our religious holidays, as if we don’t know. We’re not stupid people. We know the origins of Christianity. We have no argument with her on that. But, it is our religion, and it would be nice if she could respect that.

Personally, I feel she is the one being intolerant and judgmental towards us. We are “friends” on Facebook, and she made some very derogatory remarks about us (not by name, but her “inlaws”) to her friends after Thanksgiving. There were a lot of rude jokes and comments made. And it hurts that she lets her hatred towards Christianity keep her, but even more so my brother (who seems to agree with her) and their daughters, from spending time with the family. We all lead busy lives and the holidays are usually the only time we are able to get together. My husband I are hosting Christmas at our house this year. I would have no problem (and would actually enjoy it) including their prayer or traditions at the family gathering. I intend to suggest this to her as well.

I’m sorry this is so long. I guess I needed to vent, and I could really use some advice on how to deal with this issue. Thanks.

December 6, 2011 at 7:55 pm
(18) Jo says:

I celebrate Yule on the solstice. I celebrate Christmas on the 25th with the Christian side of the family. My family that does not approve has learned that whispering behind my back is more fun than trying to provoke me. I learned years ago to just smile and listen to what is being said. When someone insists on a response mine is always the same. “We are having such a lovely time and enjoying each others company. Let’s not ruin it by having an unpleasant conversation. I love you so much and we seldomly see each other. Surely we can agree to disagree for now and argue about this some other time. Afterall, the holiday season is about family and peace on earth.” Generally, only the drunk ones will press the issue and then you just walk away and let someone else deal with it.

December 6, 2011 at 7:57 pm
(19) wehrborn says:

Pamela
Sorry, there are intolerant, holier-than-thou people in every religion, and probably in most families, too. I was going to suggest that she say her own prayers, but you already thought of that. Don’t let her attitude bother you. You can’t control other people, only your reaction to them. You sound like a tolerant caring person. Enjoy the holidays with people who are capable of enjoying them with you.

December 6, 2011 at 8:05 pm
(20) paganwiccan says:

Pamela (15) ~ Honestly, if that was my family member, Pagan or otherwise, I’d probably not bother to invite them around for holidays either. It almost sounds as though she’s trying to deliberate seek out offense where none is meant.

Intolerance is never attractive, whether it comes from a Christian or a Pagan. An adult should be able to recognize that just because she disagrees with a religion does not entitle her to be nasty towards everyone that follows it.

Kudos to you and the rest of your family for putting up with this – it truly sounds as though you are doing the best you can to keep the peace.

patti

December 6, 2011 at 8:14 pm
(21) Jo says:

@Pamela I am really sorry that you have to deal with a prejudiced pagan in your family. I raised one of those, totally by accident I assure you. My other children are not like that. My son is openly hostile towards all Christians. He says it is justified because of the hostilities perpetrated against pagans in the past. We do not include him in Christian celebrations. I see him at Yule and other celebrations, but, he refuses to not be offensive to Christians. You could try sharing your feelings with her and let her know that she is hurting the family. You could also let her know that it is rude to expect you to change Christian holidays to suit her. Suggest that she host a Yule celebration on solstice and then there would be no reason for her to be subject to your Christian prayers and she can really educate you then on the holiday rituals.

December 7, 2011 at 3:39 pm
(22) Pamela says:

Thank you. I am trying, but she makes it hard. It would be so easy to just take her at her word and not invite them, but I miss my brother and my nieces and despite this issue, we actually have a lot in common and I enjoy having her around. I know my parents and sister miss my brother very much also, so it would be nice if I could get them to come.

Not to mention, if I didn’t invite them, she would somehow twist that later and make it sound like proof that we’re intolerant and don’t want them around.

We just want them to come. But, I am not willing to put aside my religious beliefs to make her “comfortable”. I don’t see why it makes her so uncomfortable anyway. If her belief and faith in her gods are so strong (which I believe they are) then she should have the confidence to be around others and not feel threatened or have to prove that hers is right and ours are wrong. And, I would never expect someone to not follow their tradition or not say their religious prayer at the table where I am a guest. First of all, I wouldn’t be uncomfortable or feel excluded. I would be interested, if not fascinated, if it were a completely different religion or spiritual custom from what I am used to. And, I would definitely be respectful, keep my thoughts to myself, and let them do their thing, even if I “disagreed” with their religion.

I would be very happy to include some prayer or blessing or tradition from their religion into the day. She, btw, has never offered up this suggestion.

December 7, 2011 at 8:02 pm
(23) Helen/Hawk says:

@ Pamela

There’s an aspect to this that may not have occured to you. When someone is part of a majority, it can be really hard to “get” how it feels. I’m not meaning your family & practices. What I mean is existing in the larger culture that has preferences (and doesn’t leave much room for Other).

Which grants privledge (whether sought or not) to members of the correct group. For many years that meant white, straight, male Protestant. And many many well-meaning WASPs didn’t see.

Holidays w/ your family may be some of the only circumstances that your SIL has to actually express (safely) her thoughts/feelings on this subject. Many other places can have consequences of being out of the broomcloset.

Besides……how would y’all feel if she were insisting on having HER prayers at your Thanksgiving? All the time? Everytime? And no room made for y’all?

So……why not propose an Inter-Faith Family Get-Together? More than one prayer? Christian representative gives that prayer. Everyone either prays or is quietly respectful for the belief of others. Pagan representative gives that prayer. Everyone either prays or is quietly respectful. Rules of engagement are what I said and that the opportunity may NOT be used to indicate any “My Way is the TRUTH & ONLY Truth” by anyone.

December 7, 2011 at 8:08 pm
(24) Helen in CA says:

@ Pamela cont.
You’ve mentioned that she’s never asked to have her own prayers. The exclusive nature of Christianity (we’re sharing the Truth) can make that difficult to ask for….besides, it’s your home. KWIM?

I guess what I’m trying to share is that while your posts have shown a real desire to solve this problem…..they’ve also read (kindly, lovingly) “it’s only a short while. Deal. Get over it.”. I’m gonna guess this hasn’t been your intent (or why search out this Forum?)

BTW – Thanksgiving isn’t a religious holiday. It’s an American one. Christmas is harder, since it’s a mix of religion and secular. But a Pagan could certainly bless food at any dinner. And celebrate the fact that the Sun has Returned.

Lastly, it might be interesting to ask her to sometime (not a major holiday) to share her religion w/ y’all. What she believes. Because she’s family and you love her.

December 9, 2011 at 1:59 am
(25) Debbie says:

If a family member told me I was going to hell, I would thank them for caring enough to worry about me and let them know how good it is to see them again. If they persisted I would wisper, judge not, least you be judged. Thank them again for caring, give them a hug and wisper in their ear that this is a time of celebration and bringing people together and not a time for sowing discord. Then I would change the subject or go talk to someone else.

May you find your bliss during this wonderous celebration!!!

December 9, 2011 at 2:03 pm
(26) Pamela says:

Because you’ve all been so thoughtful in your words and advice, I wanted to share with you how I tried to reach out to my brother and his wife, and the response I got in return.

“Hailsa and good morning,

I’m answering for both Jerry and I because he’s sitting in the same room as I am and this has all been read aloud to him.

No offense, but we don’t celebrate xmas as it is not our holy day. It is a bastardization of OUR Yule holy day and therefore xtian prayers and xmas are very offensive to those of us who practice the religions it was stolen from.

We do thank you for the invitation to bring our Pagan Yule prayers and blessings to your house. That’s very open minded of you and is duly noted. But as we don’t appreciate xtian things being forced onto us, we would never force our Paganism onto others that are invited to your home unless EVERYONE asked for it. And I don’t think others in your family would appreciate us calling out to Thor, Odin, Freya, Frigga, and the other deities that we pay homage to. Out of your family, you have always shown to be the most open minded and we appreciate that. But we just feel that we are really done trying to pretend like we don’t mind the xtian stuff, when we do mind.

We will be celebrating Yule at our place with our Kindred on the 20th (altho Yule this year is officially on the 22nd aka Winter Solstice) You ARE more than welcome to come and attend our Yule celebration. There just won’t be anything represented of your chosen religion at our house. If you’d like to attend, then I can send you the invite on the facebook event that was created for it.

In Frith,
E*** & J***”

Let me just say, although part of me suspected she would respond this way, her attitude and words have truly broken my heart.

I haven’t responded yet. I don’t know what to say yet. I’m just so sad about this whole situation.

December 9, 2011 at 2:38 pm
(27) Samantha says:

Sometimes, no matter how much you love and care about someone, you have to let go. Your brother is not defending your stance, nor – it seems – is he making an effort to reason with his wife. I notice she’s doing all the corresponding. Either her hard-line is OK with him and he’s letting her be the mouthpiece for his views as well or she may have a personality disorder and be seeking a way to keep contention going. This sounds like (gotta admit I’m a therapist) borderline disorder, and there’s no way YOU can fix that. SIL will revel in discord and seek to maintain it to keep everyone off balance. That’s what will make her the happiest. It’s time to let go, to say ‘have a wonderful Yule”, and to stop trying to reason with someone who has the mentality of the Taliban: ‘it’s MY way or the highway’. You might try to contact your brother privately and have a chat with him to express your feelings and clarify his. Perhaps he HAS tried reasoning with his wife and now sees it gets nowhere and has given it up as a lost cause. You cannot control your SIL, so stop. It’s only causing her delight and you misery.

December 9, 2011 at 4:57 pm
(28) Pamela says:

I’m sorry. I just realized I didn’t post my email to her that she wrote that response to.

“Good morning!

Just wanted to let you guys know the family Christmas gathering is at our house this year, and we’d like y’all to bring your Yuletide cheer along and join us! Along with our Christmas prayer, we’d also love y’all to share your Yule prayer and blessings for the food, family, and season.

It will be on the 25th, around 2:00pm, and we’ll be having a casual buffet-style meal of soups/casseroles, munchies, and desserts. Preston says he is making potato soup (it will have bacon in it). Not sure what Mom & Ronne are bringing yet. Please bring one of your favorite vegan style soups or dishes to round out the feast, as well as anything else you want to bring. I know you’ll make something delicious!

Also, ideas for gifts for the girls this year?

Love,
Pamela”

December 9, 2011 at 6:59 pm
(29) Helen/Hawk says:

@ Pamela
This makes a little more sense to me now. Reading your SIL’s letter to you…..she clearly feels that your family get-together IS religious. And, it sounds as if she’s not so sure whether everyone there feels the same way as you do as whether this is a religious based celebration.

Now, here’s a strong clue. Her wording shows that she practices particular form of Paganism called Asatru. Kin are an extremely important part (as I, a non-Heathen, understand it) of the religion.

So, I’d answer her note by writing to her about how important family is to you and having everyone there for the family gathering. Assuming that this is true, of course.

And what an opportunity to find out more about what your brother and she practice.

Lastly, if you address her concerns about the historic role Christianity played in wiping out her faith she will have felt heard. And if it were me, I’d ask what you can do to deal w/ her feelings re: the historical role of your religion w/ her’s.

Lastly, you know your brother. My husband has been known to consider such to “be between the two of you” and not get involved. Even if I read the post to him. So, what does your brother say?

December 9, 2011 at 7:40 pm
(30) Helen/Hawk says:

@Pamela

Sorry my post bounced around a bit, should have edited it better.

“And what an opportunity to find out more about what your brother and she practice. ” was intended to refer to her invite to HER celebration. Clearly, she’d like you to come.

I’d like to urge you to take her up on this. For several reasons. One, is that it’ll be an active demonstration of your open-ness. And it’ll help forge new link between you and her/your brother.

Asatru is a NordicGermanic-centered Pagan practice. So I’ll guess that you’ve got Nordic/Germanic family roots. So it should be interesting to see how modern day folks practice w/ that focus, kwim?

December 10, 2011 at 11:16 am
(31) Pamela says:

Yes they practice Asatru. As I’ve mentioned to them before, I’ve done my research on their religion, do find it interesting, and don’t think less of them in any way just because it differs from mine. As for the rest of my family, I do know that whatever their feelings, they would never (and have never) make derogatory remarks about it. She, however, feels justified in doing so towards us.
What is important to all of us is that we’re all together. It seems like a good compromise for both parties, to come together and SHARE what is important with the other.
Our family isn’t very “religious,” as far as outwardly practicing. My mom took us to Sunday School when we were kids, but my parents never attended church as I was growing up, and still don’t. Although my husband and I went to church every Sunday for several years after we were married, that stopped when we moved.
We say one prayer over the meal when we have big family holiday gatherings. But, it’s not an elaborate ordeal, and usually only lasts 30 seconds or so. That’s the extent of the religious activity for the day. She makes assumptions (which she earlier accused my mom of doing) that the other members of my family would not appreciate hearing their prayer to their gods. I think she’s wrong. She accused us of not including them in the festivities, but when I do, she still isn’t happy. I’ve even spent the last two days scouring the internet for non-Christian holiday music to make a cd mix of Yule/winter songs and Christmas songs so everyone is happy.
I haven’t spoken to my brother about this yet. I guess maybe I’m afraid to hear him say that he has no problem with the way she’s expressed “their” beliefs.

December 10, 2011 at 12:48 pm
(32) Marlena says:

Pamela, As I practice Wicca, I am not real familiar with the practices of Asatru, however I have heard that tradition can be more vocal or aggresive in defending their ways.(It sounds like that may be true for your SIL). In light of that what about having a get together with the whole family on a day other than December 25th and call it “A holiday party” without saying a prayer before the meal, or having decorations that might lean toward a christian holiday? Of course that would mean having 2 family parties for the holidays, which might present problems of its own. (Just another idea). In my family I celebrate Yule with my children, then attend christmas with other relatives and just don’t bring attention to my religion.

December 10, 2011 at 2:55 pm
(33) Pamela says:

I’ve agonized over this and finally decided to just let it go. I spent all day yesterday crying and being emotional about the situation, writing and editing a long letter expressing my feelings, and then realizing sending it wouldn’t make any difference in how they feel. Part of me is being a coward, I guess, not wanting to hear my brother tell me he agrees with her attitude. I just replied with an, “I’m sorry you fell this way. You will be missed. Happy Holidays”

As for having 2 parties, we all live several hours from each other and have different, conflicting work schedules, so that’s really not possible.

So, thank you all for your thoughtful words. I do appreciate it. I wish you all a warm and happy holiday season!

December 10, 2011 at 4:11 pm
(34) Helen/Hawk says:

This conversation w/Pamela makes me think that those of us who share her SIL’s feelings (re:Christianity & it’s historic actions towards Paganism) should think about what actions Christian family members could take to make us feel more comfortable w/ them/their religion.

Is there anything that can be done? Which of course is for each of us to decide. Do we keep fighting these religious wars in our families? Or can we find a way to share this world w/ them?

There ARE Christians for whom Christianity is the only option, religionwise. OTOH, there are plenty out there very able to exist in an Inter-faith manner. What can we bring to that table?

December 26, 2011 at 1:44 am
(35) darkirish says:

Actually I just avoid the discussion entirely..if someone makes an off color joke or comment..I just smile and go on doing whatever it is i’m doing..or if they expect some comment from me about something of a religious nature i usually just say something like..”oh, that’s interesting” or hmm, i’ll have to think about that for a minute..it doesnt do any good to confront anyone especially when it comes to religion..letting sleeping dogs lie is taking the high road..peace(to me) is more important..that’s not how you change minds and converting or having them understand my beliefs is not something they are open to so focus on the things that are good and the sharing of common experience..lead by example

December 19, 2013 at 1:18 pm
(36) ivy says:

If u read the link that is featured in here it will give u some peaceful alternatives. Joking around is fun however people take religions very serious and it may start huge arguements. If you expect tolerance towards you then you should give it as well. Be peaceful fellow wiccans it makes us look good.

One of my best friends is Christian. Although we don’t believe the same things, we still get along and just give holiday presents before yule and say happy holidays.

Blessed be my friends :-)
Merry yule and Happy holidays and sabbats lol

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