Reader XY says, "I met a guy who has a coven and he really wants me to be part of it because he says I'm special. But I have a weird feeling about the group, because they spend a lot of time talking about how everyone else is out to get them. Three of them have moved in with the High Priest, but none of them has a job to pay the bills with. Am I imagining it, or is there something not quite right?"
From what you say, it sounds like there is indeed something a little off. There's nothing wrong with living with your friends, or with not having a job... but you mention that the group feels like people are "out to get them," which is somewhat troubling. Why would anyone be out to get them? The "you're special" bit seems a bit hinky too -- it's the sort of cheesy come-on line that you sometimes hear at Pagan camp-outs from people who are trolling for nookie. Of course you're special -- but so is everyone else. Before you join this group you should think long and hard about why they want you to be a part of it. While this group may be perfectly harmless, you should probably read up on Recognizing Cult Behavior. Personally, I'd take a pass on this one.
From what you say, it sounds like there is indeed something a little off. There's nothing wrong with living with your friends, or with not having a job... but you mention that the group feels like people are "out to get them," which is somewhat troubling. Why would anyone be out to get them? The "you're special" bit seems a bit hinky too -- it's the sort of cheesy come-on line that you sometimes hear at Pagan camp-outs from people who are trolling for nookie. Of course you're special -- but so is everyone else. Before you join this group you should think long and hard about why they want you to be a part of it. While this group may be perfectly harmless, you should probably read up on Recognizing Cult Behavior. Personally, I'd take a pass on this one.
I would say that if you don’t feel right, trust it. Even if they are not doing anything odd or whatever, for some reason you just don’t mesh with them and that’s enough reason to take a pass. (They sound a bit iffy to me too, though
)
Follow your feelings. They will never lead you wrong.
In this case, I’d say trust your instincts. If something’s telling you to steer clear, then swing ‘er over and set sail until the skies clear.
I was always taught that you have to ask for membership to a Coven, study hard to prove you’re serious, spend some time on the “outside” of major workings,etc to show that you’re serious and that your energies will blend harmoniously with those of the rest of the group.
A well-run Coven with good leadership doesn’t have to recruit! They know people will or won’t be interested in their own time & own way.
Trust your judgement on this one, and hang back. If they are trying hard to recruit you, ask yourself why they’re so desperate, and back away – fast!
For once I agree with the crowd. Watch out for these people.
The ‘everyone out to get us’ mentality is a sign of what my friends and I call Black Magician Complex. It’s the obsessive result of people who play with magic and begin to blame everything bad in their life on some external source of malintent.
While not all magical groups and covens do not recruit, it is something of a rarity. Two of the working groups that I’m a part of are very small, kind of secretive, and invitation only. That doesn’t sound like the case here, and the “you’re special” line is very often used by people who are delusional or ’special’ in their own right.
Nobody has the authority or right to identify you for yourself. Who you are is something you discover in your own time and way. Anyone who tries to tell you about yourself or your talents is (IMO) taking away the right to experience that discovery yourself. Beware.