Pagans and Homosexuality
Thursday October 30, 2008
With Proposition 8 rearing its ugly, bigoted head over California, a reader writes in, "I'm new to the Pagan community, and it seems to me that there are a lot of gay and polyamorous Pagans and Wiccans, which is refreshing. I'm wondering is there some sort of "official Pagan stance" on gay marriage?"
Pagans rarely have an official stance on much of anything (other than "be sure to bring food") simply because there are so many different branches of Paganism. However, one reason you find so many openly gay, bisexual and transgendered people within the Pagan and Wiccan community is because, frankly, we don't really care what people do in the bedroom. In fact, there are a few deities out there who were pretty sexually adventurous in their escapades, so who are we mortals to say, "You can't sleep with this person, and you're only allowed to love THAT person over there"? Generally, as long as everyone involved is a consenting adult, we figure it's your business, and no one else's.
You'll also find that Pagans and Wiccans tend to be, as a group, extremely supportive of equality and fairness under the law as set down by the Constitution. Many Pagans are activists for things like free speech, reproductive rights, and other social issues. As a members of a non-mainstream spiritual path, it's not uncommon to see Pagans standing up for the rights of other groups that they're not part of. I'm pretty much hetero, but without question I stand up for the rights of my gay friends and relatives. To do otherwise would say that one group of people is not entitled to the same rights as others.
So the short answer to your question is, "There's no official Pagan stance on gay marriage, but chances are good that most of us support it." For more (very general) thoughts on this issue, read Pagans and Homosexuality.
Pagans rarely have an official stance on much of anything (other than "be sure to bring food") simply because there are so many different branches of Paganism. However, one reason you find so many openly gay, bisexual and transgendered people within the Pagan and Wiccan community is because, frankly, we don't really care what people do in the bedroom. In fact, there are a few deities out there who were pretty sexually adventurous in their escapades, so who are we mortals to say, "You can't sleep with this person, and you're only allowed to love THAT person over there"? Generally, as long as everyone involved is a consenting adult, we figure it's your business, and no one else's.
You'll also find that Pagans and Wiccans tend to be, as a group, extremely supportive of equality and fairness under the law as set down by the Constitution. Many Pagans are activists for things like free speech, reproductive rights, and other social issues. As a members of a non-mainstream spiritual path, it's not uncommon to see Pagans standing up for the rights of other groups that they're not part of. I'm pretty much hetero, but without question I stand up for the rights of my gay friends and relatives. To do otherwise would say that one group of people is not entitled to the same rights as others.
So the short answer to your question is, "There's no official Pagan stance on gay marriage, but chances are good that most of us support it." For more (very general) thoughts on this issue, read Pagans and Homosexuality.
Comments
there may be no ‘official’ position; however, one of the most surprising and disappointing reactions when I came out of the closet as transgendered was my rejection by fellow Witches and Wiccans, including my circle – they said there was no room for a gender bender in a circle dedicated to the balance and interaction of Goddess and God
Z
Z – I’m sorry you had to deal with that. I think among older Pagan groups — the ones who have been around for decades — there is a little more sense of conservatism when it comes to sexuality. I know that in the past folks like the Farrars point-blank said there was no room in Wicca for people who were homosexual or transgendered, but I believe they and others have started to revise their stance on that.
The good thing is that for every group that refuses to acknowledge our GLBT community, there are ten more groups that welcome GLBT folks with open arms and open hearts.
patti
Zorya, I feel bad that you encountered such hostility in your situation. While I can’t speak from experience (hetero), I do want to say that those who are trans-gendered are no different than anyone else. I hope you found people who support you in your beliefs and practices. Blessings!
Zorya, if it makes you feel better (not that that’s the only reason I’m saying it), you are more balanced than many people, because you have experienced both major genders, at least physically. There are a lot of ways of looking at situations such as yours.
And like Patti said, there are people who will accept you for who you are.
thank you all for your kind words
blessed be
Z
I am a lifelong Pagan and was raised to bleieve that sexuality of any nature was honored. To judge puts us in the same mind frame as mainstream religions which is something we should not want to emulate. The privacy of one’s bedroom is just that, privacy. I am sorry you had to find a group as closed minded as so many churches.
I’m so very sorry you met with such petty closed-mindedness. I have among my friends, many GLBT people.
I remember a phrase from a book I read many years ago by Marion Zimmer Bradley. ‘You love who you love’. I’ll take that a step further and say ‘you are who you are’ and to be true to yourself is the best gift you can give to yourself and the rest of the world.
Love and life are to be celebrated. Because it all boils down to how we treat each other in the here and now. Peace and love to you.
I know one transgender Pagan, they are very accepted and respected in the community. I have friends that are everything. We all get along very well. You can’t judge by age because we all ages, you can’t judge by geography either. It comes down to a people issue, and not so much a Pagan issue.
Greetings Everyone,
Patti, I really enjoyed your article )as I always do!). I’m gay, and a practicing Pagan for 18 years. Goddess Bless, I haven’t run into any close-minded brothers and sisters. Zorya, I am so sorry that you had to experience such a painful reaction. I was raised as a Baptist…I think we all know what they think of GLBT folks. I think that it is unfortunate that in this day and age that there are still intolerant people, but, as was said, the number of Pagans/Wiccans that support us far outnumber those that don’t.
Brightest of Blessings!
Ogeon
I personally believe souls have no gender which is why reincarnation is possible (after all, many of us have been both male and female in various past lives). So when we find our soulmate, does it really matter what body that soul resides in (as long as they are a consenting adult)?
Zorya – no doubt you were disappointed in your circle for being shunning you when that was certainly the time where you needed them most. I am so very sorry that you they were not there for you.
if u live in california, please support Proposition 2!
they want a better life as well~
Hi there! I am another gay pagan – and found more acceptance than rejection for this in wiccan circles. However, there does seem to be a kind of backlash from some pagans who want to ensure they are seen as more mainstream by straight muggle society, and so they reject those within our broad community as beeing too out there
I agree that we who are seeking gender balance inside ourselves, as opposed to finding it in an opposite gender partner, can also find the god and goddess within.
Living and learning
Inky
Even though I’m hetero and married, the pagan openness toward gays and lesbians and all people on the other points along the sexual spectrum was a HUGE factor in my becoming pagan.
I can’t stand small-mindedness, especially on something as irrelevant as who someone loves.
A new study regarding that naturalness of transexuality:
http://www.newscientist.com/channel/sex/dn15045-maletofemale-transsexualism-gene-found.html?feedId=online-news_rss20
From someone whose advocacy for one topic carries over to all others, (too,) good article.
To zorya, a special hug of support. I will never understand those who believe in fighting only for their own rights to be and who sometimes simultaneously even go so far as to support taking rights away from others different from themselves.
One of my dearest friends is transgender and she often says how our pagan community were the only ones not to make judgements and accept her for who she is. How sad that your circle couldn’t do that, Zorya. Keep strong,believe in yourself, you are a beautiful person. BB Chris
Zorya~ Thanks for staying apart of our wonderful-crazy making community.
I have 2 b honest that now a days people can b dumb. This is how I see it if u r good to my kids & they trust u I don’t care what your sexual preference is. They r way better judge of people than me. As long as you respect my choice I will respect yours.
Khairete;
As highpriest and being gay my self and married for the state ( in Belgium gaymarriage is a right) and also hadfasted. I handfast a lot off gay or lesbian people. I have an all gay coven (not feri) and i nottest that a lot off gay ppl find there way to the Pagan path. Over here that is i don’t know how it is in the us
I am for equality for all, I don’t think any specific type of person has a direct line in with the Gods…this is what annoys me most about “hetero covens”, “homo covens” “trans covens”, we are all seeking out knowledge to grow and to expand our understanding of the world and the people who share it with us. How can we do this if we segregate ourselves?
Gay and trans people are welcome among my circle, but none have approached us so far. I would, in turn, feel upset to be excluded from participating in a circle hosted by gay witches because I happen to be straight. Hetero bashing does happen, in this community as with any other.
I will always support the right to openly love who you love and be who you want to be, but I will not support exclusion of heteros, homos and trans people from covens and circles. Only together can we be stronger.
For I’m bisexal and I’m also learning wicca but there are ppl out here in this world that looks down on you if you don’t do what they do or act they do.
In my book I think everyone should just leave us alone , for if we want to be Pagans and Homosexuality then let us.
Blessed Be
One of my reasons for exploring paganism is because of my bisexuality. I simply wasn’t accepted by the members of my church. Although I’m a solitary wiccan (Im to young to join most covens), I feel much more accepted in the pagan community in general.
Zorya, it saddens me that some people can be so cruel, but from what everyone is saying on this board, you are most certainly welcome here.
The good news is that you found out what that circle is all about, and who’d want to be a part of that anyway?
Be true to yourself – live, laugh and love!
Celtic Joie, very brilliant statement. Never would have seen it that way, but it does make sense, gave my mind a new twist in life.
Thank you!
~B~
As people often say in the pagan community, “All acts of love and pleasure are my rites.” Having quoted that, Paganity is primarily a religion of practice not of belief. One pagan to the next, even members of the same tradition or coven, doesn’t necessarily believe the same thing about anything. I am a lesbian and I am a Wiccan and one doesn’t follow the other in either direction. I would like to think my pagan brothers and sisters are tolerant of sexual difference but that isn’t always the case.
I’ve been a practicing Witch for 27 years now(I’m 48). I was “brought up” in a coven that taught that Love is Life. No one cared who or how you loved, only that you knew you were loved.
I’m “barely bi”, meaning that although I love and appreciate the female, my preference in a partner is male. The group that I’m currently working with sure doesn’t fall under “typical”. My daughter-in-law and I lead the group. She’s exclusively hetero.
Our other 9 members are one other bi female, 2 lesbian couples, and 2 gay couples. We also have a 3rd gay couple who only recently relocated to another state. We didn’t actively choose this group. They all found us.
We have another young person who occasionally joins us who would be transgendered if she could afford to be. She was born with a male body, but is a very pretty and feminine girl. We love and accept her without judgment. However, even our loving group couldn’t prevent her being shunned and embarrassed by another local Pagan group who invited her to “come in drag” to their ritual, and then made fun of her for it. It’s something that I just can’t understand.
My son is a very straight man, yet he loves spending time with my 2 best friends who are a very openly gay couple. In fact, B&T, are my granddaughter’s Goddess parents. They are invited to all our family functions. My DIL’s family is a very old school Christian Hispanic family, yet they’ve completely accepted me and B&T, without judgment.
Now if the rest of the world could just learn to follow their example…
Love to all….