A reader says, "I'm really trying hard to find a Wiccan coven, or even any kind of Pagan group, but everyone around here seems to be so secretive about it. I know that covens aren't listed in the Yellow Pages or anything, but why is it so hard to find a public group of Pagans?"
That's going to depend on where you live. In the city I call home, you can't swing a black cat without hitting another Pagan. On the other hand, if you're in a rural area, it may be more difficult to find someone. Often this difficulty is due in part to a shortage in numbers, and in part to - as you mention - a need for secrecy. While there's plenty of information available publicly about Paganism, not everyone is willing to step forward and say they're part of the community. For more on this, be sure to read: Why Is There So Much Secrecy?
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That's going to depend on where you live. In the city I call home, you can't swing a black cat without hitting another Pagan. On the other hand, if you're in a rural area, it may be more difficult to find someone. Often this difficulty is due in part to a shortage in numbers, and in part to - as you mention - a need for secrecy. While there's plenty of information available publicly about Paganism, not everyone is willing to step forward and say they're part of the community. For more on this, be sure to read: Why Is There So Much Secrecy?
Follow Pagan/Wiccan on Twitter or Join Me On Facebook.
The need for secrecy is easy. I live in a capitol city but it’s a very religious city. If my customers found out my beliefs I wouldn’t get a single call ever again. In a moment I would be out of buisness and I’m a plumber. People need my services but they would rather do without water than have me in their house. So, I keep to myself and away from covens that let themselves be known. Wish I could come out of the broom closet.
I live in a similar area. I live in the Midwest in a county that was a big KKK area. There are 10 -15 churches in or very near my town that isn’t very large. People aren’t very tolerant here, though I believe the times are changing. I am so adamant about being able to freely express my beliefs without fear of repercussions that my fiance and I are considering moving out West. But of course, I have had to live this way my whole life, as my parents aren’t even very tolerant. They take the “It’s okay to be another religion (or even gay), as long as it’s not my child” position, which is very unfortunate. I hope you will be able to come out soon, and lose the fear of living as a Pagan.
I reside in a very small northwest town that has 5 bars and 6 churches (pop. 365). Though I am a Solitary practioner and have been out of the broom closet a long time, I know there are at least 3 covens in this area who remain well hidded. Most Pagans still fear for their homes, families and their lives because of the Aryan Nations who rampage through the countryside here. I live less that 15 miles from what was a one time the largest Aryan Nation compound in America. Beside this (as you saw the number of churches above) there are at least 1 home religious group per street here. There is still a lot of fear for our lives out in the “outback” of America.
I’m proud of who and what I am but each person must find their own comfort level in their religion. I’m just shy of 60 and I don’t care who knows how I believe. I don’t through it in their faces BUT I’m not afraid to discuss it in public. My belief is a very private thing that continues to develop as my life goes on. I understand why covens keep low profiles.
I am close to you in age, just welcoming the crone years. I live in a small town in Ohio and have faught to be public, and regret it now. My daughter and her husband are fighting for custody of their children in family court. The judge is actually going to have a hearing to decide if it is safe for the girls to be raised in a Pagan household. That is the only grounds stated on the court papers. The children are at risk due to the Pagan beliefs of the parents and maternal grandparents. This is the bible belt. We could actually lose the girls to this fine Christian family.
Have you tried your local Unitarian Church?
Are you referring to CUUPs, the Covenant of Unitarian Universalist Pagans? They have their own website, which I believe is http://www.cuups.org, but I’m not entirely sure.
It’s a good thought BUT the Unitarian Churches here in the NW don’t want to know you if you’re a Witch. Remember not all Witches are Wiccan. Many of us don’t follow “do what ye will, but harm none”. ( By the way this came into law in England during the reign of Elizabeth I for individuals who practiced midwifery in villages. It made for fewer hangings and burnings.)
A friend of mine and I started our own group of Solitary Witches and Wiccans because there was no other alternative. It’s worked out very well (3+ years later). We’re a community. Yes we have problems but what group doesn’t. We’re Solitaries and respect the paths of each other even though it’s different from our own!
I just finished writing an article on my blog about secrecy in the Craft. There are many reasons for it, including protecting my own profession. I am mostly in the broom closet for many reasons, but the biggest one is that I don’t want to spend all that time explaining things to people who don’t know or don’t care. Simply put, it’s my business, not the business of every person I chat with in the line at the grocery store.
Yes, it is sad to say that in many places and cases, secrecy is the best way to go…in a country that was founded on the premise of “Freedom of Religion”, there is still an overwhelming amount of religious intolerance.
Yes, freedom of religion applies wholly…if you are practicing the majority religion. Other than that, those folks can create a world of grief for a practicing pagan of any path. They can get you fired from your job, have your children taken away, evict you from your home, exclude you from anything within their town or even make your life so miserable that they force you to relocate entirely.
Yes, our paths are good ones to walk…but unfortunately many in the world don’t share that same joy with our choice.
There are multiple resources to find a coven or group in your area. The two best: Witchvox. Tis is a website that has been around for about 15years. They have listings for personals, groups, events, etc.
The other best resource is Yahoo Groups. You can narrow your search there to your county or city you live in.
There are also Groups instead of covens. Some of these groups practice rituals for the sabats, esbats, full and new moon, etc. Unlike covens, most groups are open to the public. They are a collection of solitary practitioners.
MEETUP is also a great source for finding groups! You sign up, list your interests, & choose from what’s available in your area!! The best thing is that it’s FREE!!!
I really wished Meetup.com was still free but it isnt. At least not where i am in Arizona. The organizer has to pay a fee and its not cheap. Most of the time they trickle down the payments to the people who meet up. But youre right meetup.com is good for wiccans/pagans and others to meet up and its fun!
Sorry, I forgot that it isn’t free to the organizer of the group, but it is free to the one who is searching! After you find & join a group, might be a different story!!!
Witchvox.com is a good resource, they list groups in the vicinity of your area. Your local metaphysical bookstore can be a good place to start and yes, the Unitarian church usually has a pagan group that meets within the church. You can always start a group yourself if it just seems like groups are scarce. A group of us in my town started out meeting as a “study group” at the local bookstore.
Try checking the local metaphysical shops, privately owned (not chain or Christian) book shops, and tattoo/piercing parlors (where the alternate lifestyle and young Goths hang out). Privately owned coffee shops may helpful too in providing info on local pagan groups. You can tell if a privately owned book/used book shop has of section books devoted to New Age, occult, tarot and oracle cards it is likely the owner is tolerant and pagan friendly. hang out there and keep an eye on who frequents that section of books.
I came out of the broom closet long ago. I have been asaulted, spit on, and had my property destroyed. That has pretty much died down in the last 3 years. Unfortunately, my daughter and her husband are fighting a custody battle and the reason that it is being entertained by the court is because they are raising their children Pagan. So I advise you all to stay secret as long as you can. The Christian world is a dangerous place for us to live. Especially if you live in the bible belt. Secrecy was our greatest shield and today I wish I were still in that closet and going to church every Sunday to keep up appearances. Losing my grandchildren because of my personal belief, watching my daughter and her husband struggle with this…..stay in that closet. Stay secret, keep yourself and your family safe.
I live in Utah county Utah and here if you are in a job that you may need to be quite about your Wiccaizam ,than your not going to say hay i’m a Wiccan .but I found here in if you go up to a Wiccan they will identify that they are a wiccan, pagan, or gothic person, with out any problem. I on the other hand am public and I have had no problem. and my Coven is open to all. We welcome all and are Family coven so children are alwats welcome!Reverend High Priestess Char Norton M.W.R.
I was in a similar situation; my husband does not share my faith so during the holidays I began to feel lonely. I got on a website called http://www.meetup.com it helped me search in my local area. I joined a group and I get emails when they have things like “witches night out” or “pagan pride festivals” even down to small circles held by individual members in the group. I have found it’s a great tool. I was even able to create my own profile and people in the group have contacted me. I highly suggest it.
If you’re interested in a public tradition of Paganism, try Ar nDraiocht Fein: A Druid Fellowship. Groves are basically covens that hold public rituals for the community. None of our material is secret. ADF’s website is http://www.adf.org.
Blessings,
Victoria
I live in a fairly urban area, but there are few publicly visible Pagan groups and no shops that I’ve found that cater to our needs.
It’s kinda hard to feel safe when you *know* you’re surrounded by people who would kill you if they could get away with it – I live less than 50 miles from the central headquarters of the KKK.