I often get emails from readers who are leaving one Pagan group or another, and they're not sure how to go about the process. Well, as always, my first suggestion would be to to talk to the people in your group - the High Priest or Priestess, or whoever -- and discuss the fact that you're leaving. Ideally, you should have the courtesy of letting them know. Also, your group may have a procedure in place for leaving -- whether it's a ritual, a signed letter, a symbolic breaking of the bonds, or something similar. Ultimately, the key to leaving a Pagan group in a positive manner is communication. For more details on why you might consider leaving a group, and how to go about doing so, be sure to read When You Leave a Pagan Group.
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This is always painful but the pagan path often includes a solitary aspect. I think the traditional, thank you for walking a while with me, I go to seek my own path now, is more than enough explanation and its something that is not shocking to most pagans. Needing to explore your own spirituality in your own space is at the heart of paganism. Don’t feel guilty for wanting to explore things on your own.
Group energy is great but deciding for yourself what works is wonderful too. Celebrate the choice, don’t bring a lot of baggage to it, and know life is cyclical you may chose to come back into group activities at another time in your life so just tread lightly.
When I left the coven that I had belonged to for some time I began by meditating on how to best accomplish this so that no one felt angry, criticized, hurt, or vengeful. I opted for following the old homily from Bambi: “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say nothing at all.” (Thumper quote). I packed my family and moved to another area, several hundred miles away, cut all connections with everyone and returned to strictly a family practice, as my ancestors have traditionally done for hundreds of years. Being modern and in a time / area where pagans were widely accepted, I tried something new. We didn’t like the energy and beliefs that outsiders brought, so we went back to the old tried-and-true fam trad.
We had a significant faction in the community/ coven that was into “witch war” and had portrayed themselves for years as innocent victim(s) of the members of other groups – specifically mentioning several who I had found to be pleasant, friendly people. On the other hand, some of the nice people made the mistake of attacking my school-age child, which I repelled and send back with a little energetic hand slap.
It would be nice to have a larger community, but I hate the drama queens and witch wars – who has the time to waste on that kind of garbage?