From the Pagan/Wiccan magical email bag, K-Bong writes, "I've been reading about Wicca and think it might be the right path for me. I hang out with a couple of people I know are Wiccan, and I'm hoping one of them will approach me about joining a coven, but so far no one has. Am I doing something wrong?"
Yes.
You're not asking.
The thing here is that Wiccans don't actively seek recruits. We don't get free toaster ovens or a set of nice Ginsu knives for signing up a new person. If you are interested in learning about Wicca from Actual Wiccans ™ , instead of books, then you need to take the initiative and speak up. You need to be the one who says, "Hey, guys, I've been reading a lot and I'd like to learn more. Would it be possible for us to get together and talk some more about this?" Offer to buy coffee or lunch if you think it will help.
Seriously, K-Bong (and I do love that name), if you're really seeking, you've got to take the step and ask. Otherwise, you'll spend your life seeking, and never finding.
Want to read more about why we don't actively troll for new members?:
Yes.
You're not asking.
The thing here is that Wiccans don't actively seek recruits. We don't get free toaster ovens or a set of nice Ginsu knives for signing up a new person. If you are interested in learning about Wicca from Actual Wiccans ™ , instead of books, then you need to take the initiative and speak up. You need to be the one who says, "Hey, guys, I've been reading a lot and I'd like to learn more. Would it be possible for us to get together and talk some more about this?" Offer to buy coffee or lunch if you think it will help.
Seriously, K-Bong (and I do love that name), if you're really seeking, you've got to take the step and ask. Otherwise, you'll spend your life seeking, and never finding.
Want to read more about why we don't actively troll for new members?:
I agree with this article; we are not going to come looking for you, but if you found us and seek knowledge and ask you will be enlightened. I would like to point out something very important here though and not to speak for anyone else but in my own opinion and experience no matter your level of knowledge and expertise, anyone new is not just going to be invited into a coven. The BOS is not going to be handed over and all secrets are not going to be revealed. That has to be earned with trust, proven knowledge and mastery of skills and this especially relates to those covens that have a hierarchy. In a coven I belonged to initiates were only allowed to the Sabbats-never the Full Moon rituals or the esbats. Those were restricted to 2nd degree members and above. The thought process on that being an appropriate level of mastery of magickal skills–very important depending on the magick worked, devotion and committment. Being a part of a coven is serious, it is by free will however it is not just for the curious who will come for only a few months and when the curiosity is satisfied or the seeker doesn’t see some great “steroetype/tv” magick the person will leave and often speak of what they saw or encountered. Thus leaving others open to the public eye and scrutiny. I do not know or speak of the people you know, but as someone new to the group I have to mention do not expect if they let you in to just have everything handed over or feel let down or offended if you are not invited to perform rituals or other magick involved activity. An ethical group will be sure to educate you. To my own students I have suggested a book that is something I feel should be read and the title is: Being A Pagan-Druids-Wiccans-Witches Today it was published in 2001 and I have been suggesting it since then. There is controversy over the book that it is a re-write of another book titled People of the Earth. However, in my opinion the Being Pagan book is more easily read and with the many perspectives of people in the path it gives the reader different avenues to ponder and consider. I know that copies can be found on Amazon and there may even be a copy at the local library or you can interloan if your library has such a program. There are two isbn’s for this book 978-0892819041, 0892819049. I hope this helps and may you find that which you seek in your journey.
Just so I don’t get hammered on my commentary and I forgot to put this in it: All Witches are not Pagans, All Pagans are not Witches, A Wiccans are not Pagans, All Pagans are not Wiccans etc. etc….
Also, don’t forget that some very traditional groups will turn down a potential student twice before accepting him or her, or at least that was the rule of thumb back when I started on the path, sometime back in the Pleistocene. . . One had to demonstrate a certain tenacity of spirit to be taken seriously. Of course, if we tried that now, the path might quickly die out.
Thus concludes my grouchy old witch moment for the evening. Durned whipper-snappers!
Also an excellent point, Patricia. Many traditions have a requirement that someone has to really show that they’re interested, either with asking them to attend a certain number of events before applying, or even by expecting them to ask three times.
Of couse, that always makes me think of “Fight Club”, when Tyler Durden is yelling at people on the porch… if a coven was like that, most people would indeed be scared off, and only the truly serious would stick around!
patti
Great Comments. A few others,
Aside from stepping up and asking for advice, do more research on your own. Don’t just ask your friends to teach you, ask them if they know of a group or a teacher they could recommend to you. As nice as it would be, not all practitioners are good teachers, in fact most aren’t.
A good teacher will get to know you, and what you need from your path. They will teach you how to learn, and how to have genuine spiritual experiences. If the teacher you find sees that he or she can not help you with what you need, he or she will help you find someone who can. If something feels wrong, figure out why it feels wrong and talk about it. Don’t sit quietly and accept that ‘this is the way it is.’
Go to WitchVox.com and look for groups in your area, look for meetups and social gatherings. There may be more than you know.
We don’t get a free toaster? * takes complaint to my HPS *
seriously.. great article. Nothing torques me more than a person who, after months and months of hanging out and spending time with me, finally asks with a hurt tone in their voice about attending an Open Circle or about learning. Speak up and don’t be shy. If you’re interested, then say so.