My Mom Thinks Wicca is Dumb

As a single parent (of teens) I do hate to hear when a kid and his/her parent can’t talk, etc.
One day, my daughter came to me, told me she wanted to be Wiccan..and I couldn’t stop her. I told her fine, but we would research it together, she was not to go off on her own or with her dingy friends to do stuff with it. I told her Wicca is not a fashion statement, its a religion, like Christianity, Islam, etc. So she and I have begun our research..And I’ve found more on this site than anyother about Wicca.
After doing some reading (and by the way,About.com has provided more information than anyother i’ve come across) I’ve come to realize Wicca has more to do with my personal belief’s than that of the religion I was brought up in (southern-baptist). guess what I’m tryin to say is…Thank you, and if you have any links for any other sites that might help me and my daughter on our search..I’d greatly appreciate it…My daughter can only seem to find the sites that sell wiccan products–or spells..
Thank you so much for all your help
Karen

Hi Karen! Thanks for your kind words — as a parent of a teenager myself, I know it’s hard to weed through all the information out there. It’s one of the reasons you’ll see me gradually adding more family-friendly and parenting-focused topics on this site. As more Pagans and Wiccans are “growing up”, our kids are growing up too. There are a number of good sites listed under the Family And Parenting link that are worth checking out, and I’ll be trying to get more articles along those themes posted here on About.com as well.

patti

I don’t think ANY parent should so casually dismiss the interests of their children, especially teenagers. No matter what the interests are, I find that it only serves to break down the relationship between the parent and child. Raising teens is hard enough already (yes I have one too) without casually dismissing the things they feel are important and alienating them.

Thankfully, libraries are starting to carry more & more books on the subject. Of course he must respect his Mother & her home, however, if he is that interested maybe he can go to the library & read book there, w/o taking them out. Just an idea.

IT IS SO SAD THAT PARENTS ARE SO QUICK TO DISMISS THE DESIRES OF THEIR CHILDREN. LET ME SAY THAT AGAIN; THE DESIRES OF THEIR CHILDREN! NOT THEM. I WAS IN OAKS SHOES BEFORE AND REALLY ALL HE CAN DO IS WAIT. WAIT TO GET OUT OF THAT HOUSE AND BE THE PERSON THAT HE WANTS TO BE. UNFORTUNATELY HE IS MORE MATURE THAN HIS PARENTS. HIS PARENTS SHOULD BE PROUD OF HIM FOR THE FACT THAT HE WENT TO THEM FIRST AND WANTED TO TALK ABOUT IT. ONCE AGAIN ANOTHER ADULT TOLD HIM WHAT HE IS ALOUD TO LEARN. AND NOT TELL HIM THAT IT IS OK IT RESEARCH AND LEARN NEW INTERESTS. I HOPE THAT HE HAS A LIBRARY NEAR BY AND HE CAN GO THERE AND LEARN AND DO HIS RESEARCH THERE.
BLESSED BE OAK!

Mother didn’t say Oak couldn’t read about Wicca at the library, or that he couldn’t bring home books on Paganism did she?

For 8 years now I have abandoned my Wiccan ways out of respect for my husband
I haven’t felt whole since. Recently a tragic event hit our family and forced us to make some new changes in our lives, I have since expressed my feelings of loss and hurt to my spouse about my beliefs and he has backed up and I am now whole again. I am out of sinc a little and am having to read a lot to get back where I was. However, I have since healed a great deal and am so relieved to be back with my natural elements and hope that all who do not have the same beliefs will at least read up first befor passing judgement and saying our beliefs are stupid.

Rescue, CA

Hey there Oak! If you read this… LIBRARY!! also there are so many other things you could that would help you build a solid foundation for studying wicca. Like the uses of herbs! lol, which is what I am currently studying. The craft usually calls for plants of some kind so learning how to care for them and cultivate herbs and whatnot will help later in understanding certain things. Also there’s crystal magic and my most favorite… history. Mom won’t object to you learning the history of various cultures… and if that history happens to focus on pagan holidays, special days and beliefs… well then. The internet is a magical thing. Wikipedia for the win.

Oak, don’t feel too bad, I am 43 years old and my mother basically told me the same thing. For years we hadn’t gone to church as a family which didn’t disapoint me at all. Everything that the church stood for just seemed wrong to me, and we had talked about it many times. I did as this site advised I started with gardening I grew up on a farm so this was a natural. I had always collected rocks so no one thought much about the books on them that started showing up. I had made candles as a hobby so again no one noticed when I got even more into it and started branching out to incense. My home is filled with mid century garage sale furnishings so a “Besom” hanging on my wall, or the dream catchers on our head boards seemed fine. I am so sorry you have to put up with ignorence…It has made practicing my beliefs hard, and I don’t live with my mother! Good luck to you. As a mother of a teen, I will add, don’t try to decieve her it will only make the situation worse. Just a thought on Wicipedia, tho it is helpful, remember what was in the news…and double check facts. Also, if the library is a little hard to stomach, try any of the big chain book stores (not WalMart…) many of them encourage you to sit and read. Good Luck!!!

I am grieved when parents want to interfere with their childrens spiritual exploration and development, mabye all the more because I was lucky enough to have parents that allowed me the freedom to find my own path. My sisters & I all found different paths to follow (neopagan, christian, buddhist) and my parents were equally supportive of each choice as it was made. My advice to Oak would be to tell his mother how he felt about her dismissal of his serious interest. Also to tell her that he will respect her wishes not to spend money she gives him on books or materials concerning wicca or neopaganism, or bring any into her home, but that he will continue his exploration at the library and by talking to friends with similar interests. He might add that he hopes his honesty and respect for her wishes will encourage her to respect his wish to continue his exploration within her bounds. I hope things work out for Oak and all of the other underage people who have parents resistant to their exploration of their spiritualiy.

Most parents have the child’s best interest at heart, but that doesn’t mean parents always know best. On the other side there are teenage hormones which are so very good at distorting parental intent, good or bad.

For that, I’d second a lot of people here. Respect house rules in the house but do quietly explore at the library or your local bookstore.

Dear oak, if you see this, i am going through the similar situation with my family. i am 17 years old and have been looking into wicca fo rabout two years, and i still haven’t talked to my family about anything.I would love to be able to tell them what i want to do and i am afraid that they would turn their backs on me for even thinking about it. I hope that everything works out for you, the library has lots of info for you to check out and the internet has a vast majority of anything you would want to look up. As for the herbs and such, go to about.com and you an sign up to take a class on magical herbs and things. it is something you should look into.

Hi all — just for an update, I wanted to let you know I got another email from Oak. He actually sent his mom to this blog entry and asked her to read all the comments — she has now told him that although she still doesn’t understand what Wicca is or why he’s interested in it, she no longer objects to him learning and reading. They’ve reached a compromise, and Oak is happy because the two of them have always had a good relationship. Here’s hoping it all works out for both of them!

patti

There is a book called WHEN SOMEONE YOU LOVE IS PAGAN. It is for non-pagans & explains what paganism is…& isn’t. Get a copy for your mom to read.

It is truly a shame that Christianity and Catholicism has made people narrow minded and instilled fear in people if they decide to search outside of these guidelines for spiritual guidance. I thought to be a Christian meant to be “Christ” like an that means tolerant, respectful and understanding of others and their culture, beliefs and religion. Besides, Catholicism & Christianity have done nothing but take customs from the “OLD RELIGION” or should I say “Paganism” and incorporated these customs to be used to their advantage to get people to convert to their religion for the sake of “taking over” (the acquirement of lands.) It’s always been about politics/acquisitions just look at the crusades and the puritans and their witch hunts, the fear and terrorism that was brought upon people if they did not convert. It is still true today, if someone says they are Pagan hell is reaped upon them. Two great books to read are “Christianity the origins of a Pagan Religion by Philippe Walter and The West in the World-Second Edition by Dennis Sherman & Joyce Salisbury. Better yet open up your mind an take a Western Civilization class at a university if possible. This will explain the findings through out history regarding religion and politics and how we all “Draft” God into our own Personal crusades. AAAHHH, religion…the opiate of the masses. Think about it…..

I am afraid my mum will give me the exact same response as Oak’s mother gave him. So do you think it would be ok if I researched Wiccan without telling my mum. I would never lie to her, and if she asked me if I was doing something like this I would tell her about it.
But I really want to read more about Wiccan and Paganism, but I’m afraid of my mum saying I can’t (And I am 90% sure she would say that)

PS. I am 15 so I have a looong time till I can move out and do things withough my mum’s permission

Natalie, I think if your mother has told you she doesnt’ approve, you’ll need to find other things to study and learn until you’ve moved out and live on your own. However, you don’t know until you talk to her. If she thinks it’s a silly phase you’re going through, but she’s okay with you reading and studying, then by all means, go for it.

patti

ok,hi!i am a teenager and i am currently confused and undecided on religion.for the past three or four years,i have been feeling drawn to wicca but i realy dont understand everything.i know there has to be something you know? like i can feel it,but im not sure which religion is right for me.a close friend of mine is christian, and i have been joining them at church the past few weeks,but im not sure if i really buy the whole christanity thing.i respect everyones beliefs,but i dont know which one is right.any advice? thanks a bunch!